Do you talk to your computer, too?

So I have this ACER laptop, that is pretty hip, made a few bad ass upgrades, and primarily use it for work. When I start it up I have a little menu option that allows me to choose which operating system that I want to use...well, sometimes I'll hit the wrong key (ooops, I'm clumsy), but I'll catch myself screaming at it F3! F3! while I desperately try to hit the F3 key in time - so that I don't have to go back and reboot. I hate rebooting...it's a gross expense of my time - seriously. I sometimes worry, too, at work that my co-workers hear me cussing my computer. Typically, it's my own mistakes, but I'll whisper under my breath, 'SHIT' or 'son-of-a-bitch!' Of course, there are those times that I pound my fists on my desk and say 'DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO!'. And days that Illustrator loads so blessedly slow I just can't help but grind my teeth and say 'HURRY (the fuck) UP!' while trying to restrain my fury. Sometimes I threaten to sell her on ebay PIECE BY PIECE or throw her out the fucking window. I tell her how inferior she is to the MAC (which I know is really hurtful) but she needs to know that she better straighten up and act right or she'll be replaced!

At home, I have a MAC Mini - that I fully recommend to EVERYBODY - it's a powerhouse of a little machine. I like to stroke her ego. I tell her how inferior the PC is to her (Sorry little ACER), I tell her how bad ass she is at managing my documents, running my programs, and quick she is a downloading my music (legally, of couse, CURSE YOU RIAA!). I tell her how thankful I am that I have her and how wonderful her little remote control is! Does it help? I don't know, but it can't hurt!

Now, I do have to be real honest with about something. When I am working on my webdesigns, regardless of which computer, I tend to cuss so badly that I put most sailors to shame. Mostly through a clenched jaw, it's things like, 'Ooooohhhh, you're a dirty little fucker, aren't you?' or 'You JANKY-ASS PIECE OF SHIT! DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO!' or 'fuckin' shit' or 'fuck-an-a' or 'fuck you, you fucking computer' - then I usually have to get out of the office, go smoke a cigarette, get my blood pressure down, then get back to work.

Do you talk to your computer, too?